Depression
5.Psychiatry. a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason. Compare CLINICAL DEPRESSION.
Clinical Depression
Psychiatry. a depression so severe as to be considered abnormal, either because of no obvious environmental causes, or because the reaction to unfortunate life circumstances is more intense or prolonged than would generally be expected.
~dictionary.com
I have been asked recently if I am depressed. In the past I would have answered with a resounding “no.” But the person who was asking was doing so with sincerity and in fact was voicing a concern I have had myself recently.
After some research, discussion with people who should know, and self reflection I can honestly say no, I am not depressed. Sad, dejected, down in the dumps, feeling the blues, yes, depressed, no.
The main reason made obvious by the definitions stated above: depression seems to have no rhyme or reason. I know the reason for my blues: joblessness. Oh, I would much rather not work than work, but I would also like to be able to afford to get a birthday present and buy ice cream every once in awhile. If my joblessness goes for much longer we won’t even be able to afford to pay for the roof over our heads, let alone putting food in a refrigerator we would no longer have!
I also would very much like to be able to support my husband while he pursues his dream. My lack of any job prospect has gone on so long that he has even considered dropping out of school to support us. After all, being the good husband that he is, he feels the burden of being the provider of the family. But that is just it, I want him to go to school so he can do a job that he not only loves, but will hopefully provide for us in such a way that I won’t have to work and can stay home with the children we hope to have some day.
So much is riding on my getting a professional job that the stress is overwhelming.
And my usual response to stress is to shut down, or at least use my energies to divert my attention from the source of stress. I have done a little of both in the last couple of weeks, but NO MORE! This is my pledge to you honey: tomorrow I will “beat the streets” and I will not rest until I have found the job that will allow us to get on with our lives.